What Is Collaborative Divorce?
Collaborative divorce is a structured process where both spouses and their attorneys commit to resolving all issues through negotiation rather than litigation. Both parties sign a participation agreement pledging to work cooperatively and to stay out of court.
At Leffler, Bayoumi & Oliver, LLC, our attorneys are trained in collaborative practice and have helped many couples achieve fair divorce settlements while preserving their dignity and their co-parenting relationships.
How Collaborative Divorce Works
The collaborative process follows a structured approach:
- Initial meetings: Each spouse meets with their own collaborative attorney and/or their divorce coach
- Participation agreement: Both parties sign a commitment to the collaborative process
- Team meetings: Depending on the needs of the couple and the entire team, there will be full team meetings (with the couple, their attorneys and divorce coach), or just the professionals (the attorneys and divorce coach). These meetings focus on negotiating but also supporting the team as a whole to help the couple reach a resolution
- Neutral experts: Financial specialists, mortgage brokers, child specialists join as needed
- Interest and option-based negotiation: Explore various options and focus on needs and interests, not positions
- Written agreement: Final terms of a settlement documented in a settlement agreement
- Uncontested divorce: Agreement submitted to court as part of an uncontested divorce proceeding
The Collaborative Team
Collaborative divorce may involve various professionals working together:
- Collaborative attorneys: Each spouse has their own attorney trained in collaborative practice
- Divorce coaches: Professionals who help manage emotions and communication
- Financial neutral: A financial professional who helps both parties understand assets, budgets, and options
- Child specialist: A mental health professional who represents the children's interests
Not every case requires all team members. Which team members are appropriate in your case is explored during preliminary discussions among the professionals and their clients.
Benefits of Collaborative Divorce
The collaborative approach offers significant advantages:
- Privacy: Settlement negotiations are confidential, unlike public court proceedings
- Control: You and your spouse make the decisions about how the rest of your life, and your children's lives, will look, not a judge
- Efficiency: Often faster and less expensive than litigation
- Preservation of relationships: Cooperative process is better for future co-parenting
- Child-focused: Children's needs remain central to discussions
- Creative solutions: Flexibility to craft agreements that work for your family
- Reduced conflict: Structured process minimizes adversarial dynamics
- Emotional support: Coaches and specialists help manage stress
The Disqualification Provision
A key element of collaborative divorce is the disqualification agreement. If the collaborative process fails and either party goes to court, the collaborative process terminates. In that case, both collaborative attorneys must withdraw and each spouse must hire new litigation counsel. In fact, none of the professionals involved, including a child expert or a financial neutral, will be involved after the process terminates. This unique and key provision of the collaborative process ensures that everyone is fully committed to reaching agreement and creates a strong incentive to negotiate in good faith.
Is Collaborative Divorce Right for You?
Collaborative divorce can be an excellent option for couples who want to resolve their separation with dignity, respect, and a shared commitment to problem-solving rather than fighting. This process tends to work best when both spouses are willing to negotiate openly and in good faith, communicate honestly, and focus on reaching fair, practical solutions.
Many families choose the collaborative approach when preserving the co-parenting relationship matters deeply, when privacy is important, and when both people feel comfortable advocating for themselves with the guidance and support of their own attorneys. Instead of positioning spouses as opponents, collaborative divorce creates space for thoughtful conversations and long-term planning.
That said, collaborative divorce is not the right fit for every situation. If there has been domestic violence or abuse, a significant imbalance of power, dishonesty about finances, or a refusal by one party to participate transparently, the process may not provide the protection or structure needed. In cases requiring immediate court intervention or urgent protective measures, litigation may be the most appropriate path.
Collaborative vs. Mediation
Although collaborative divorce and mediation are both alternatives to courtroom litigation, they operate differently.
In mediation, a neutral mediator facilitates discussions but cannot provide legal advice or advocate for either side. Parties should consult with attorneys separately to make sure they understand their rights before committing to mediated agreed upon terms, but the mediator does not represent either person.
In collaborative divorce, each spouse has their own attorney present and actively involved throughout the process. Your attorney advocates for you while still working cooperatively toward settlement. The process often includes a team of professionals to help address the legal, emotional, and practical aspects of the transition. Another key distinction is that if the collaborative process breaks down, both attorneys must withdraw, which reinforces everyone's commitment to reaching resolution without going to court.
What to Expect
Most collaborative divorces unfold over a series of structured meetings held over several months. Together, the parties and their attorneys gather information, exchange documents, and identify priorities and concerns. Between meetings, there may be "homework," such as collecting financial records or considering different settlement options.
The focus remains on interests and long-term needs rather than rigid legal positions. By exploring multiple solutions before making decisions, families often reach agreements that feel more balanced, durable, and tailored to their lives. The end result is a comprehensive settlement that both parties can accept and move forward with confidence.
Our Collaborative Experience
At Leffler, Bayoumi & Oliver, LLC, several of our attorneys are trained collaborative lawyers and leaders in the collaborative law community. We value staying closely connected to the collaborative community so we can remain current on best practices and bring thoughtful, well-informed strategies to the families we serve.
We believe in the collaborative process because we've seen firsthand how it can reduce conflict, protect children from unnecessary stress, and help families move forward with greater stability and respect. When appropriate, this approach often leads to more durable agreements, preserves important relationships, and gives clients more control over both the process and the outcomes, all while maintaining privacy and efficiency.
If you're considering a collaborative divorce, we're happy to discuss whether it's the right fit for your circumstances and connect you with the attorney on our team best suited to guide you through the process.
