What to Do When a Child Does Not Want to Visit

One of the most challenging situations a divorced parent can face is when their child says they don’t want to spend time with them during scheduled custody or visitation. This scenario is emotionally painful and legally complicated. Understanding how to respond appropriately is essential for protecting both your relationship with your child and your parental rights.

Understanding Why Children Resist Visitation

Before addressing the legal aspects, it’s important to understand that there are many reasons a child might resist visitation:

Age-Appropriate Reasons

Younger children may struggle with transitions and prefer routine
Pre-teens may have developing social lives and activities they don’t want to miss
Teenagers often prioritize friends and may resist any parental control

Circumstantial Reasons

Different rules or environments at each home
Conflict with a parent’s new partner or step-siblings
Missing pets, friends, or belongings at the other home
Discomfort with the living arrangement

Concerning Reasons

Parental alienation or negative influence from the other parent
Legitimate safety concerns or abuse
Mental health issues or anxiety about the transition
Unresolved feelings about the divorce

For the Custodial Parent

If you’re the custodial parent and your child refuses to visit the other parent, you have legal obligations to consider:

You Cannot Simply Skip Visitation

Maryland courts take custody orders seriously. As the custodial parent, you’re generally required to make reasonable efforts to ensure your child follows the custody schedule. Allowing your child to refuse visitation without making good-faith efforts to facilitate it could:

Result in contempt of court charges
Lead to a modification of custody in favor of the other parent
Damage your credibility with the court

What You Should Do

Encourage your child to follow the schedule without forcing or threatening
Document your efforts to facilitate visitation
Communicate with the other parent about your child’s concerns
Consider family therapy to address underlying issues
Consult with an attorney if the situation persists

For the Non-Custodial Parent

If you’re the parent whose child is refusing to visit, this situation is heartbreaking. Here’s how to protect your rights while nurturing your relationship:

Document Everything

Keep records of:

Missed visitation dates
Your attempts to pick up your child
Communications with the other parent about the refusal
Any statements your child makes about why they don’t want to visit

Avoid Common Mistakes

Don’t give up on your scheduled time—this can be used against you later
Don’t confront your child angrily about the refusal
Don’t badmouth the other parent in front of your child
Don’t blame the child for the situation

Focus on the Relationship

Find low-pressure ways to stay connected (calls, texts, activities)
Make your home welcoming and comfortable for your child
Address any legitimate concerns your child has raised
Consider what changes might make visitation more appealing

How Maryland Courts View the Situation

Maryland courts consider the child’s preferences, but this is just one factor among many. Key points:

Age Matters

Very young children’s preferences carry little weight
As children approach their mid-teens, their preferences receive more consideration
However, even a teenager’s preference is not determinative

Context Is Critical

Courts will look at:

Whether a parent is influencing the child’s refusal
Whether the child’s reasons are based on legitimate concerns
The child’s best interests overall
Each parent’s efforts to foster the relationship with the other parent

When to Seek Legal Help

Consider consulting with an attorney if:

The refusal is ongoing despite your efforts
You suspect parental alienation
The other parent is not complying with the custody order
You need to file a motion to modify custody or address contempt

Moving Forward

Whether you’re the custodial or non-custodial parent, the goal should be supporting your child’s relationship with both parents. At Leffler, Bayoumi & Oliver, we help parents navigate these difficult situations while protecting their legal rights and their children’s well-being.

If you’re dealing with custody visitation refusal, contact our office to discuss your options and develop a strategy that serves your family’s best interests.